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Poems and Feelings


A death has occurred,

and everything is changed by this event.

We are painfully aware that life

can never be the same,

that yesterday is over,

that relationships once rich have ended.

But there is another way to look upon this truth.

If life went on the same without the presence

of the one who died,

we could only conclude that the life we here remember

made no contribution,

filled no space,

meant nothing.

The fact that this person left behind a place

that cannot be filled

is a high tribute to this individual.

Life can be the same

after a trinket has been lost,

but never the same

after the loss

of a treasure.

Paul Iron

The Compassionate Friends- Savannah, GA



1. After the first year,

The pain changes from a crushing weight

To a wickedly cutting edge.

Time speeds up from grinding plodding

To a more normal routine

And sometime you can forget ( for a moment)

That your whole life was destroyed

Just last year.

2. After the first year

You start to remember the good times

And you can tell a funny story about your child

And save the crying for later,

But sometimes it seems like you're the only one left who mourns.

" What's the matter with you anyway?"

" It's been a whole year."

3. After the first year your child seems a little closer

and yet still so far away.

miracles of miracles, you haven't forgotten

How he walks, his voice, the shape of his head

Or the solid warmth of his fingers curving around yours.

Those memories ambush you at many unlikely moments

And tear you apart.

4. After the first year,

your heart begins to thaw.

You remember that you once loved your surviving children

And you love them again.

You remember that life used to hold,

And you rediscover some small enjoyment in living.

5. After the first year

You pick up your burdens and go on.

Amazingly you have survived a blow more painful that anything

You ever imagine.

Even though you wish you could have died too,

It slowly dawns on you that you must still live

because after the first year comes the second year.

By Liz Ford- TCF, Madison, WI



Please.... don't ask me if I'm over it yet. I'll never be "over it."

Please.... don't tell me he/she's in a better place. He/she isn't here.

Please.... don't say "at least he/she isn't suffering." I haven't come to terms why he/she had to suffer at all.

Please.... don't tell me you know how I feel, unless you have lost a child.

Please.... don't tell me to get on with my life. I'm still here, you'll notice.

Please.... don't ask me if I feel better. Bereavement isn't a condition that "clears up."

Please.... don't tell me " God never makes a mistake." You mean He did this on purpose?

Please.... don't tell me " at least you had him/her for 'so many years.' "What year would you choose for your son or daughter to die?

Please.... don't tell me God never gives you more than you can bear-----

who decides how much a person can bear?

                                       Please.... just say you are sorry.

                                       Please.... just say you remember him/her if you do.

                                       Please.... just let me talk if I want to.

                                       Please.... let me cry when I must.


A Compassionate Friend

c. The Compassionate Friends, Inc.

All rights reserved



Because you can't feel me,

Doesn't mean I'm not there.

Because you can't see me,

doesn't mean I'm not near.

Because you can't hear me,

doesn't mean I don't speak.

Because you can't see me,

doesn't;'t mean I'm out of reach.

Because I am dead,

doesn't mean I'm gone.

Beth Oldani                                                        

TCF, Arlington Heights, IL                                                          



I think of you in silence,

But my feelings seldom show,

But how it hurts to lose you

Know one will ever know.

I hope there is eternal life,

so we can meet again.

I not only lost my brother,

I lost my very best friend.

The reason you left so early

I'll never understand why.

I just wish I'd known you were never coming back,

Cause I would have said good-bye.

Marta King

TCF, Concorde, NH



Within our hearts

You will always be.

Our minds will be filled

With sweet memories.

Your spirit and love

Will never be gone,

For each life you touched

Will carry them on.

Catherine Hall

TCF Hinsdale, IL



One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to him , and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. " Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The Lord replied, " My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "

author unknown/disputed

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